Nothing can hinder the LORD from saving, whether by many or by few. ~1 Samuel 14:6b

I am simply overwhelmed by what God has done in only one month. One month ago I met with my surgeon for the first time and discussed my options. One month ago I realized the kind of healing that would need to take place to make things right. One month ago I started this blog. One month ago I was a different person altogether.

 Since that time I’ve been on such a roller coaster of humility, contrition, grace and blessing that I can hardly call myself the same person. I’ve had times of complete trust, faith, and hope in God, followed by spells of doubt and fear – but mostly the former thanks in large part to your generous prayers and support!

I’ve seen God move in so many ways. He has taught me that my friends and family are more than people that I can chat over a cup of tea with – they are the direct instruments of God’s love and mercy in my life.  While I’ve always known that each one of you is a jewel, I have gotten the chance to see you shine like diamonds through the kindness you have shown me. (I think only those who have been in the pit of despair can know the impact one kind word can have!) I have felt compassion in your touch, love in your speech, and loyal camaraderie in your notes of encouragement. I am so blessed by your three-fold sympathies in word, action, and deed.

After showing me the true value and preciousness of my friends, God has taught me that even my troubles with worldly finances bow to His discretion. What was of critical concern to me a few weeks ago has been soothed and quelled. Both of my parents (law and in-law) have so graciously written the checks that have served as the down-payment for the surgery. Further still, I have been encouraged to see Christian Healthcare Ministries (CHM) in action. We received a check in the mail last week reimbursing us for the abdominal MRI that I did back in January.  I was pleased beyond measure to see that this shared health plan with other Christians can actually work to meet our needs! People who have used it for years (such as my pastor) would probably be surprised at my enthusiasm that the system actually works, but I feel like someone using an ATM in a foreign country for the first time. You know that it should work in theory, but you’re grateful to see the bills safely in your hands all the same!

Amongst all these blessings I must get back to the dips and dives in the aforementioned roller coaster ride. In my emotional valleys I have seen an ugly side to myself. Some of my anxieties have gotten the better of me as the date for surgery draws near – only 3 days away now – both in my work and my home. While I have apologized in advance to Nate and Amy if I am on edge and apparently irritated by things that would not usually bother me, I have not extended this courtesy to my workmates. Usually I pride myself on having a good social intelligence that helps me know what to say and when, but I was surprised last week to find myself putting my foot in my mouth, hurting my co-workers feelings, and generally finding myself in all sorts of misunderstandings. Happily, God took this chance to humble me yet again and I was able to mend the damage by apologizing to my work friends. They were gracious and forgave me, but furthur still I’m thankful that God - who uses all things for good - has used my vulnerability with them to pave the way to a deeper relationship.

In closing, I continue to treasure your prayers and notes. Please don’t feel that I’m ignoring you if you’ve sent me letters or have left messages on my phone that have gone unanswered! If you’ve known me long you know that I usually love correspondence more than anything, but at this time I will probably defer returning my sentiments to you until this surgery is over.

Also, I know that many of you have asked what you can do for me and if you can come and visit me at the hospital. The short answers are, “I’m not sure” and “maybe” as I am unclear at the moment on my recovery time and what needs I’ll have. I will plan on keeping you updated either through this blog, Facebook, or Nate. To my knowledge I’ll be in the hospital from 2-4 days and may remain in Denver for a few days after that with my gracious sister-in-law who happens to be an excellent post-surgical nurse! When I return to Laramie I will alert my contact person who has agreed to arrange meals for me if I need them.

Thank you, thank you for all you’ve done and please continue to keep me in prayer in the next few days. I can hardly wait to return to joy as is written in Nehemiah 8:10 when the walls of Jerusalem were rebuilt and the scrolls of the Law were unfurled and read to the people who wept with contrite hearts:

¹⁰ Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

While I cannot enjoy “choice foods” at this time as I’ll soon be starting a liquid diet to prepare for surgery, I’ll happily partake in the strength of God’s joy now! I’m so thankful it is always available to us.